Have yourself a merry little parody

 

For many a year, the Christmas holidays don’t seem like Christmas without a visit to Ferndale’s Ringwald Theatre, where merry thespians deliver the best presents one could hope for: the gifts of laughter and great memories. But 2020 was beginning to look like anything BUT Christmas when a grinch-like pandemic stormed in and ruined everyone’s plans. Then, as if to double down, things went from bad to worse when The Ringwald announced the doors to its longtime home on Woodward Avenue would be permanently shuttered. So what’s a fella to do to get his holly, jolly holiday fix this year?

Why, log onto the internet, of course! That’s where you’ll find “Have Yourself a MISERY Little Christmas,” the final production staged inside The Ringwald’s 14-year home. And what you’ll discover is a carefully crafted parody of the 1990 thriller based on a Stephen King novel that starred James Caan and Kathy Bates – but with the many unexpected twists, turns and tweaks one has come to expect from the mirth makers at The Ringwald.

In this version, written by Matthew Arrington and Vince Kelley (and unauthorized, as you might imagine), it’s not romance novelist Paul Sheldon who finds himself caught in a blizzard, seriously injured in a car crash, and kept prisoner in the home of nurse Annie Wilkes who claims to be his number one fan. Rather, it’s Santa and Blitzen who crash and Annie Willis who finds them – and, similar to her movie counterpart, her nursing care comes with a price: Santa must rewrite his Naughty and Nice List to her satisfaction. Or else.

Why? All becomes clear as the story proceeds. But I’ll just say this: She ain’t the nice, sweet, innocent fan she appears to be!

If this doesn’t sound like the typical, sappy and uplifting Christmas tale we’ve become accustomed to on the Hallmark Channel, you’re right! Instead, it’s a highly entertaining comedic thriller as only the talented crazies at The Ringwald can do it, and it serves as a memorable way to pay tribute and say goodbye to a beloved performance space.

But more importantly, “Have Yourself a MISERY Little Christmas” is but one example of the battle Metro Detroit’s theater community is fighting to stay alive in the era of COVID-19. With live, in-person performances banned for the foreseeable future, producers and performers are dreaming up new and inventive ways to stay in touch with their patrons and – hopefully – generate much-needed cash to pay the bills that continue to flood their mailboxes.

For some, that meant experimenting with Zoom productions. However, unless high-quality internet connections were used by all participants, these often were disjointed and frustrating to follow. Plus, it’s not easy for actors to create characters and build relationships between and among them when the performers may be thousands of miles apart and technical issues interfere with the flow of the action.

So it was with great relief to see that director Brandy Joe Plambeck and director of photography Jake Turner went a different route and planned their production as a full-blown movie shoot rather than a staged reading or a filmed play. For a low-budget flick, the cinematography and film editing are excellent. And whatever the budget couldn’t pay for, creative replacements were found (such as puppetry and green screens).

The script, which tracks the movie up to a point, is filled with everything The Ringwald is celebrated for. From sharp double-entendres to silly puns, cross dressing to political jabs, they’re all here – mixed with high drama and big laughs throughout. But it’s the performances that make the production especially fun.

Anytime artistic director Joe Bailey and audience-favorite Suzan M. Jacokes appear together on stage, the result is guaranteed to be theatrical magic – and “MISERY” is no different.

Although Bailey’s version of the Jolly Old Elf is definitely “R” rated in this production, it’s a role he could play for the rest of his life, his charm and charisma are THAT convincing. In addition, his dramatic and comedic chops get great workouts, as both his solo moments and when he’s teamed with his greatest nemesis (and biggest fan) are finely executed. (That’s probably not the best word for this, but what the hell; you get the point.)

And if there’s anyone who can switch from naughty to nice and back again in a flash, it’s Jacokes. With great skill and timing, her mood swings as Annie are terrorizing and priceless. (Also priceless is her work with the pig. And no, I’m not name calling here; there really IS a real, live, living and breathing oinker in the movie – and the hungry critter wants as much screen time as he can get.)

Together, the two are a formidable team and an absolute joy to watch.

Even the supporting actors are in on the fun. Dyan Bailey as the sex-driven booze-hound Mrs. Claus provides many of the production’s lighter moments. And Phoenix Eldridge as head-elf and gay heart throb Twinkleberry sets hearts atwitter everywhere he goes in search of Santa. (Even Santa’s missus wants a piece of him!)

And then there’s the delightful Vince Kelley, who triples as costumer designer. It wouldn’t be a Ringwald finale without SOMEONE playing their opposite gender, and few do it better than Kelley. This time he’s a classy Lauren Bacall – yes, THAT Lauren Bacall, because she was in the original movie. She’s in charge of production at Santa’s Workshop, and she’s not happy with her slacker boss this holiday season – and with good reason.

If there’s one thing that’s disappointing, though, it’s this: We don’t get to see Joe Bailey and Jacokes struggle to stay in character when one does something to tickle the other’s funny bone. That’s always a delight and a highlight of any comedy in which these two appear, but here their performances are done “straight.” At least there are outtakes included at the end of the film, but they’re not quite the same as the spontaneity of live theater.

Here’s hoping live theater returns soon, and The Ringwald finds a new home that will allow them to keep making Christmas memories like this for many seasons to come.

(Included with the price of every ticket is “The Ringwald Christmas Cabaret,” a virtual holiday-themed treat that features singers Kryssy Becker, Alisa Marie Chirco, Jordan Gagnon, Dante Hill, Christopher Kamm, Vince Kelley, Richard Payton and Matthew Wallace with accompaniment by Jeremy St. Martin.)


ABOUT THE SHOW: Tickets for “Have Yourself a MISERY Little Christmas” are available at three different giving levels: $20, $50, and $100. Tickets are currently available at theRingwald.com for performances that will stream in December. With every ticket purchased between now and Dec. 31, a link will be sent to enjoy the show. Appropriate safety precautions were observed during the filming of both events.